Pint Problems
This piece is part of an ongoing exploration of the unique problems that can arise during one’s ice cream-eating journey with Ben & Jerry’s. Or what’s otherwise known as "Pint Problems." We’ve previously documented issues such as frozen fingers, empty freezers, wonky spoons, airborne chunks, and excessive barking. Or wait, that last one was from a completely unrelated piece about puppies. Look, most of the time ice cream eating is a relatively seamless and trouble-free experience, except when it’s not:
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Item number 1
Rock Bottom
When we get a tad overzealous about snack time and the pent-up energy and anticipation over imminent chunk consumption is mismanaged, resulting in an overly aggressive spoon traveling straight through the bottom of the pint at lightning speed.
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Item number 2
Solid Effort
When your ice cream habit comes at the expense of your entire spoon drawer.
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Item number 3
Spoon Fight
When dueling is very much alive as a 21st century solution to territorial ice cream disputes.
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Item number 4
Hidden Treasure
When the need for a good disguise isn’t limited to unreasonably famous Hollywood people.
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Item number 5
Smooth Operator
When the pint has been treasonously de-chunked. Have they no shame?
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Item number 6
Running On Empty
When your overwhelming propensity for generosity means over serving everyone but yourself, and then secretly wishing you weren’t so damn nice all the time.