Ah, the summer fling. We’ve all been there – the wellies go into storage, the shorts and swimsuits come out, and suddenly everybody’s looking for that special someone to share a piled-high ice cream cone with.
But really – be honest – do you actually want to share that ice cream cone? Is the person on the other side of it really worth compromising your relationship with Ben and Jerry?
We say euphoria comes first, and your summer fling should be with your favourite tub. Here’s why:
Item number 1
A Tub is Always Up for a Good Time.
Have you ever asked a tub of Ben & Jerry’s if it was up for a trip to the beach or the movies and had it say “Nope, not interested"? Didn’t think so.
Item number 2
It’s Okay if you Catch Feelings.
Think you might be falling head over heels for Greek Style Blueberry Cheesecake? That’s okay. This tub is always ready to take it to the next level. Just don’t ask him to pick you up at the airport.
Item number 3
It’s an Open Relationship.
Item number 4
They’re Always Insta-Ready.
Longing for love on your Instagram feed? Your tub is perfectly poised for a couple selfie — just you two at the beach, in a boat, in front of a sunset, on a rooftop... Just make sure you’re ready for all the little hearts coming your way. #tublove
Item number 5
Meeting their Friends is Actually Awesome.
There’s zero risk of your summer fling’s friends being insufferable weird-os when they're friends with the entire 'Wich family.
Item number 6
A Tub Never Expects Too Much.
A comfy spot in the freezer is all a tub needs – no midnight text messages, no last-minute cancellations, no misunderstandings. Just the good stuff.
Item number 7
A Tub’s Always There For You.
Need a sympathetic ear? A shoulder to cry on? Phish Food’s always there for you when you need it – despite not having any ears or shoulders.
Item number 8
It’s a Fling That Can Last All Year Long.
Item number 9
You know exactly what you’re going to get when you dig into a tub – it’s right there on the pack. No hidden pasts, no unwelcome surprises, no silly games... just lid-flippin’ good times.
Item number 10
Discretion is Their Middle Name.
Spoon the summer away with reckless abandon – don’t worry, all your secrets are safe with Speculoos? Specu-love.